Things You Don't Want To Hear From Technical Support
I found a bunch of great hosting/support jokes, add some in the comments and I'll update this article!

1) "Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?" 

2) "That's right, not even McGyver could fix it." 

3) "So -- what are you wearing?" 

4) "Duuuuuude! Bummer!" 

5) "Looks like you're gonna need some new dilithium crystals, Cap'n." 

6) "Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you're with the FTC." 

7) "We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery." 

8) "In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect." 

9) "Hold on a second... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!" 

10) "Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics." 

11) "Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney."


Best excuse when your server is down?

1) "Well, here's the story, we had a company sponsored contest of who could ran the datacenter the fastest, and well we got a little rowdy and Jim-bob kinda tackled Billy-bob into the racks, and the rest is well downtime as we work on piecing things together. I think its safe to say there will be no more indoor contests in the datacenter." - Lippy on ev1 forums :)